50 questions for couples

One question a day works better than thirty at once. Today's is below, and the whole list follows.

Today's question

“When was the first time I really made you laugh?”

The 50 questions

1.How much time alone do you need and don't ask for?
2.What animal do you think I'd be?
3.Which habit of mine annoys and amuses you at once?
4.What attracts you in me now that didn't at first?
5.Which of our trips would you do again today?
6.What brave thing do you want us to do?
7.What changed in you since we met?
8.How do you prefer to be comforted when you're down?
9.What would our perfect date look like?
10.Where do you want to go with me before anywhere else?
11.What do you want for us this year?
12.What did you learn from your family that you want to repeat with us?
13.What do I do that makes you feel loved?
14.What do we do wrong when we fight?
15.What was your first thought when you saw me?
16.When was the first time I really made you laugh?
17.Which food is our food?
18.Is there something you need to tell me and are holding back?
19.Which subject do we avoid and should talk about?
20.How do you picture our home five years from now?
21.What do I do that's good for you that I might not notice?
22.When did we last laugh together for no reason?
23.What would you like to learn with me?
24.If you could relive one day with me, which one?
25.What do you miss when we're apart?
26.Do you prefer our mornings or our nights?
27.If they made a movie about us, what genre would it be?
28.If I had a superpower, what would it be?
29.What do you need more of from me lately?
30.How do you picture us old together?
31.What promise would you make me today?
32.What are you proud of me for right now?
33.What recharges you after a heavy day?
34.Where do you feel most at home with me?
35.If we saved for one thing only, what would it be?
36.What would you like to hear from me more often?
37.When were you most afraid of losing me?
38.Is there something you want and never asked me for?
39.Which small moment of ours do you keep without knowing why?
40.Which song reminds you of us?
41.How can I support you better?
42.What surprise would you love to get from me?
43.What do you think I should learn from you?
44.Which three words describe us today?
45.What are you grateful for today?
46.What was hard today that you didn't tell me?
47.Which way I touch you do you like most?
48.What tradition do you want us to start?
49.What makes you trust me?
50.What would our ideal weekend be, spending nothing?

How to use them without turning it into an interview

One a day, and that's it. The point isn't to get through them — it's having something new to talk about on an ordinary day, when nothing is happening.

Answering in writing changes the conversation: it gives you time to think, and the answer stays. A year later, rereading what they wrote is worth more than the conversation was worth on the day.

Why one a day beats thirty at once

Thirty questions in a row becomes an interview. It wears thin in ten minutes and nobody comes back the next day.

One a day becomes a habit — and habit is what has you both still answering six months from now.

In lovnote, you only read their answer after writing yours

Each of you answers on your own device, and their answer only appears once you've sent yours. That's what stops the answer that merely agrees with the other one.

The rule is enforced by the database, not by the screen. There is no way to peek first.

Answer together, every day

In lovnote you each answer on your own device and the answers are kept. A year from now, they're the best part of the journal.

Start the 7 free days

Questions everyone asks

What are the best questions to ask your partner?

The ones with no right answer. Questions about the beginning (“what was your first thought when you saw me?”) and about the future work better than test questions. The list above is the one lovnote uses, and it was written without traps.

Can I use these in a new relationship?

You can, and that's where they pay off most — in a new relationship almost every question is still unanswered. The difference is that in a long one they bring back things you had both forgotten.

Is it the same question every day?

No. The question on this page changes on its own each day. Inside lovnote, the draw avoids anything used in the last 60 days.

Do I have to pay to use this?

This page is open and free. Answering alongside the person you love, keeping the answers and reading theirs after writing yours is what happens inside lovnote, which has a 7-day free trial.